Friday, November 7, 2008

A Love Story

I realized last night that my book is a love story. Its the love story of a man who loved his wife and children so much that he fought as hard as he could for 5 weeks to live. Its the love story of a woman who loved her husband so much that she couldn't imagine living in a world without him. Its the story of children who missed not only their father but their mother as well as she spent her days and nights camped out in a waiting room clinging desperately to any moment she was allowed through the ominous double doors to the burn unit to steal minutes with her husband. Its the love story of family and friends who valued the life and love of their friend and family member so much that they looked for any way they could to help. But its more than that.

Its also the love story of us, Darrell and Denise. Darrell died 10 days before our 10th wedding anniversary but many would have guessed it was our first. We held hands. We kissed often. We were always near each other. Our days revolved around the other's plans. To see the true devastation that Darrell's accident brought to our family and to me, I need to tell our story. Our love story.

I've added a new song to the play list. I Swear by All for One. The song will come into play several times in my book. We played that song at our wedding and ended up singing it to each other on the alter. If you've read my home blog There's Always Room for One More, then you know I can't sing very well. But I didn't care and neither did Darrell. Although our wedding was quite small it was as though it was just the two of us as we stared into each other's eyes singing our song. It was if they were our vows. Now that I think about it they were; we meant every word.

The second time is on Valentine's Day. I brought the CD to the hospital and sang to my unconscious husband. Our song.

I Swear
All for One

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Two Different Worlds

As I delve into writing my book I find that some parts just flow out of me. Its like it just happened yesterday instead of almost 3 years ago. But I also find that the writing takes me to a different place, a different world. Its as though I'm existing in 2 different worlds and I have to juggle the two of them in my mind. The only difference is when I'm writing the book I'm lost in it and when I'm outside of the writing I feel like I'm still there. I had heard of writers secluding themselves when they write, now I see why. Its a precarious balance at best. But I don't have luxury of seclusion, at least not at this point, so I must balance the best that I can.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

New Song Added to Play List

This list will continue to grow as I write. Music has been so much a part of my life. Music helps me through the painful experiences and breaks down the barriers on my heart to let the grief out. There was grief in Darrell's first days in the hospital even though he survived. I realized that our world as we knew it would never be the same. Darrell would never be the same.

This song by Relient K is a song that helped me in a previous time of grief, when my oldest son Trace was going through some difficulties after graduating from high school and going to live with his father. It would only be natural to return to it with my new grief. I didn't stay with it for long. God gave me many new songs.

Let It All Out
Relient K